seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
