Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
