My room smells like vodka and shame
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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