She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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