I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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