I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
