mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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