his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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