Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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