I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
