Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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