Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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