Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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