I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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