How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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