I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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