he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
