seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I sprained my soul last night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
