Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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