So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
