I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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