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This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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