I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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