whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
