My room smells like vodka and shame
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
