i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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