i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
