You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize