I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
