Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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