I hate all girls vehemently.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Couch. On fire.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
