This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
