i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
