i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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