she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
