first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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