Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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