Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
