Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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