I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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