Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
