You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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