Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
