My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
