Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
