Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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