I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
