Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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