You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
