I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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