What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He did a backflip because drugs
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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