Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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