I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize