ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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