who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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