I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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