He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
