Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I would fuck him just for his dog
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