I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
