i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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