Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have feelings that need drinking.
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