Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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