I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
