I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize