He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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