I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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