I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize