Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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