he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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